Why You Should Come to Dance Class Even if You Are Injured!

I decided to publish this blog post again because as slog through a slow COVID recovery, I have needed to listen to my own advice.

I have a lot of experience with being injured and returning to dance. The last decade has been one long string of body parts giving out. Being injured causes physical and emotional pain. The physical pain is obvious, but the emotional pain is no less real. Missing performances, having to sit on the sidelines at rehearsal, and not feeling like a contributing member can all wear on a dancer’s self-esteem and mood. I have spent some time recently investigating “best practices” around injured dancers and want to offer some suggestions for ways an injured dancer can keep learning, participating, and feeling connected in class and troupe rehearsal. First, we will look at how you can physically continue participating. Second, if you must sit out, how can you make use of that time to improve your dance? Third, how can you also use that time observing to benefit your teacher, the class/and or the troupe?

1- Physical participation

There are several strategies you can use to make decisions about physical participation.

Medical Advice: At the post-op apt after my hip replacement, the surgeon and I danced. I stood up and showed him the movements I needed to do and he stood up and showed me what I needed to avoid. Between that meeting and similar sessions with a physical therapist, I returned to dance with very clear instructions about movement. If you are injured, ask your medical providers for suggestions on modifying movement and share those suggestions with your teacher.

Pain Free Range of Motion: Basically, don’t do anything that hurts!

Modify Movements: This means reducing the difficulty of the movements, modifying your exertion level, or otherwise limiting your participation in order to allow your body time to heal. In other styles of dance, “marking” the movement is more common than it seems to be in ATS®. Marking is a great alternative to dancing “full out” both for dancers who are injured and for dancers who are tired and therefore more susceptible to injuries.

Remove weight bearing: Can you sit and continue to do upper body movements while decreasing the load on your lower body? Are there alternative movements that can train your body in the same way but can be done on the ground or in a chair? Ask your physical therapist and your dance teacher for help figuring this out.

2- Mental Rehearsal

Mental rehearsal is a strategy used by professional athletes and sports psychologists to enable high-performing athletes to benefit from practice without adding strain to their bodies… again, both preventing and dealing with injuries. There is an abundance of evidence that this is an effective strategy to improve performance! The evidence supports that mental rehearsal helps you maintain neuromuscular connections and refine your movements. It can also help you analyze your personal dance habits and technique.

Mental rehearsal is most effective when the dancer alternates between 2 different perspectives.

Kinesthetic Practice: When you visualize yourself executing the movement from the inside.

Visual Practice: When you visualize yourself executing the movement from the outside as if you are viewing a movie.

While visualizing, notice the cues and instructions you give yourself about doing the movement. Recording those mental cues and instructions is one more way you can deepen the benefits of this strategy.

3- Written Class Observation

Observing class allows you to recognize how your movements can be improved and identify strategies for change by watching how other dancers execute the movements you have trouble doing. You can also assist your teacher and the other students by noticing strengths and opportunities for improvement within individual dancers or the class. Here are some questions you can consider while you are watching.

What general or individual feedback comments did the teacher make?  How does this feedback apply to you? 

What do you see in your classmates that you can apply to yourself?

Are there any students in the class who are inspiring to you?  Why specifically?

What do you notice about the relationship between the music and the movement?  How are individual dancers responding to the music?  Is there anything specific you want to emulate?

There are so many great ways to make use of class time, even if you can’t dance. Physically participating is not the only way to benefit personally or add value to a class or troupe. By appreciating the abundance of ways you can contribute even if you are injured, I hope students and troupe members will be encouraged to take time to heal and to feel great about it!

Reference

Managing Stress and Getting Through This Election

My 20 y/o and I sat down to talk about our election strategy for this week knowing that it won’t be over tomorrow or probably even the next day. In fact, it might not be over for a while. This prompted me to write this blog post to share some of the strategies we will be using to manage our stress and anxiety.

As fond as I am of positive psychology, this post is not to talk about gratitude or motivation or how to improve your relationships. This post is about how to take care of yourself so that you have the energy to keep fighting for justice in your communities and countries.

We all know that exercise and eating right helps us manage our stress… but making big changes might be more than we can pull off right now. Here are the small and quick ways I recharge my energy and decrease my stress level throughout the day.

1- Habit Stacking

What is something you already do without thinking about it? Brush your teeth, use the restroom, walk your dog… are a few examples. While you are doing these mindless things, consider a new habit you want to pair (or stack) with them. It can be a mental or emotional habit, for example, think about 3 things you are grateful for every time you wash your hands. (Ok, I couldn’t resist talking about gratitude because it is such a powerful thing to do to improve your overall wellbeing.) It can be physical, for example, every time you get a call you can put it on speaker, stand up and do some gentle stretching.

2- Morning Light

Stress causes sleep disturbances and one great thing you can do to improve your sleep is to expose yourself to morning light. It helps your sleep/wake clock be set properly (and lots of other stuff about circadian rhythms and melatonin production). Grab your morning cup of coffee and take a little stroll.

3- Energy Monitoring

Pull out a sheet of paper and list the things that zap your energy. Here are some of mine… sugar, whining, Trump, poorly run meetings, difficult conversations, laundry. Now write a list of things that give you energy. Some of mine are sunlight, the sound of water, strawberries, hugs, cherry red lipstick, the smell of cinnamon, children laughing. Identifying what gives you energy is half of the battle. Once you have it figured out, figure out how can you sneak those things in a few times a day!

4- Thought Disruption

Even those of you who don’t have an anxiety disorder might find yourselves ruminating in times like these. If you get a worry stuck in your head and you can’t seem to get rid of it, you need 2-3 things you can do to break that perseveration. You need a really good distraction. This is a big problem of mine so I have years of fine-tuning my thought disruption skills. Here are the things I do… read a chapter of a mystery novel (I always have one on the Kindle APP on my phone), pull up a video of my favorite late-night comedians and watch it for 5-10 min, touch my toes until I can feel myself relaxing into the stretch.

None of these ideas take a large time commitment but even incorporating one will have an impact on your stress level. Do you have any ideas of easy and fast ways you reduce your stress? I would love to hear about them!!

Supporting your Dance Students Outside of Dance Class

People are hurting right now. How can I, in my role as a dance teacher, help? One idea is to help your dance students by connecting them with resources. (My next blog post will be about how you can help your students by advocating for social justice.)

Sharing resources with your dance students can be done in a number of ways. Here are some of my ideas:

-Consider adding pandemic-related resources to the resource page on your website

-Send your students an email saying you are concerned with their emotional as well as physical health and include a list of community agencies who are offering emotional and financial help

-Post a similar message to your class Facebook group

I would love to hear about ways you are creatively supporting your students right now!

What could you identify and share? I suggest emotional, financial, and family safety resources. I have included my resource list below all found through simple Google searches. Please let me know if you need assistance finding resources in your area, whether it is in the US or another country. I will do the best I can to help!

Update on 6-23-20

Since I posted this blog, I have gotten into some wonderful conversations online with dance teachers about maintaining healthy boundaries! I realized I should come back in and post a link to a class on Boundaries the Terri Allred has on-demand at the Belly Dance Business Academy. The Boundaries class for dance instructors is $15.

Emotional

International

Online resources like the COVID Sanity Guide from Ten-Percent Happier

US, Canada, UK, and Ireland Text Crisis Line; for US text HOME to 741741 for free 24/7 crisis counseling

United States

US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

Wake County, NC

Wake County Network of Care for help with transportation, internet access, mental health, food resource locator, rent assistance, etc.

Alliance Behavioral Healthcare 24/7 crisis services

Financial

United States

USA Disaster Financial Assistance learn about national financial assistance for those impacted by COVID

Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies (how to choose a reputable non-profit to help you with your financial difficulties)

Wake County, NC

COVID-19 Resources for small businesses and individuals

Financial Counseling and Coaching at Triangle Family Services

Wake County Network of Care for help with transportation, internet access, mental health, food resource locator, rent assistance, etc.

Family Safety

International

Futures without Violence Global Violence Prevention to find resources for victims all over the globe

United States

National Domestic Violence Hotline for those having to shelter-in-place with an abusive person

Protecting Children During COVID-19 Outbreak from End Violence Against Children

Wake County, NC

InterAct of Wake County for 24-hour crisis line, support services, and shelter

Reporting Child Abuse in Wake County instructions from SAFEchild

And here is a really useful list for US citizens of ways to get and give help in this time of COVID.

Free FCBD®Style Instruction Online

Hello dance friends! I am updating this blog today with the new language suggested by Carolena… substituting FCBD®Style for ATS®. Still all of the great content!

This blog post lists all of the free FCBD®Style instruction (on technique and other related topics including the psychology of dance and the business of dance) that I could find.  I have not added general Facebook groups that don’t have a component of instruction or feedback (mostly because there are just too many).  I am sure I have not included everything, so I have dated this post and will update it every time I learn new information. Please share any free instruction you are aware of and I will update this post periodically!  Check back occasionally for updates.  Also, if I feature you and you want me to edit my entry about your offerings, I am happy to do that as well!

To make this longish post easier to navigate, I have divided the resources into:

Technique: Blog on Website

Technique: Facebook Group

Technique: Facebook Group for Video Feedback
(No one is posting technique instruction, but you can post videos and get feedback)

Psychology: Blog on Website

Business: Website

Instagram

Best wishes!

Lisa

Technique: Blog on Website
DeAnna Freeman
Prana Dance Company
Dance Blog

Wowsa, so much great info on dance technique and on keeping your body healthy!  Recently DeAnna has featured a blog series on posture and a Facebook Live class on setting goals for the new year.  She includes videos, pictures with postural adjustments, anatomy diagrams, and other helpful information.  If you don’t have her blog bookmarked, you are missing a treasure trove of free information from a dancer as talented as she is generous.  Thank you DeAnna!

Technique: Facebook Group
Sofia Salazar-Rubio
FatChanceBellyDance®
Move of the Month

Move of the Month Club is a deep dive into FCBD®Style movements. Sofia’s tips are so helpful and easy to understand.  And I really love the diagrams and instructions on the videos- they really work well for me because I am a visual learner. You can post questions and share your practice videos in the discussion section of the monthly event page.  At the end of the month, one lucky participant will get a **FREE** video review from Sofia, and all participants who shared practice videos will be eligible for a discount on video reviews and online private lessons.  Thank you, Sofia!

Technique: Facebook Group
Dance Michyio
Michyio Salisbury
FatChanceBellyDance®

From the Dance Michyio Facebook page, you can go to groups and ask to join FCBD®Style Musicality with Level 1 and 2, and 90-second FCBD®Style Drill. 

90-second FCBD®Style drills

Michyio’s description of the group is a perfect way to summarize the really brilliant rationale for the 90-second drill.  “The best way to become a better dancer is to practice for many hours every day! But it's hard to find the time in our busy lives… I believe having short practice with the quality is better than waiting for the opportunity that you can commit for 30 min 😀 Let’s find 90 seconds and dance!  You can also post videos of yourself and Michiyo will give you brief feedback!  Thanks, Michyio!

FCBD®Style Musicality

Here are the instructions for using this group… “Step 1 - Dancing to one song using only FCBD®Style Level 1 & 2 moves (only level 1 is also welcome!) Step 2 - Film a video Step 3 - Post your video or a video link here with #”your subject - sample below.”  This is another great and free way to practice and to share your practice video with others.  Thanks, Michyio!

FCBD ® Friday Flow

Also from Michyio’s Facebook page (or from YouTube), you can tune into the FCBD ® Friday flow video.  What a beautiful way to get in the flow every week!  Thanks Michyio and FCBD®!

Psychology: Blog on Website
Lisa Allred Dance
Lisa Allred (yep, me)
Red Sage Collective

If you are interested in the psychology of dance, check out my blogs on lisaallreddance.com.  There is free content in every blog and some topics link to classes you can at the Belly Dance Business Academy.  Here are some blog topics that have been popular: 

Why you should come to dance class even if you are injured
Giving and Receiving Feedback
Networking for Introverts

Business: Website
Belly Dance Business Academy
Co-owners: Terri Allred, Sara Shrapnell, and Lisa Allred

The goal of the Belly Dance Business Academy is to provide “ the tools, training, and support you need to build your belly dance business.”  It is free to register, and then you can see all the FREE classes.  You don’t ever have to buy a thing.  Casual hobby dancers can find awesome classes that will interest them and professional dancers will have a treasure trove of helpful information.  Here is the list of classes they offer and some examples of free classes you can take.

Filming your dance: choose the right gear with Carrie Meyers
An Introduction to Music Rights for Dancers with Joie Gandbois

Thanks Terri, Sara, and all the instructors at the BDBA who offer this great free content!

Technique: Facebook Page
Fat Chance Belly Dance®
FCBD Online Office Hours
If you don’t follow FCBD® on social media, then stop reading and do that right now!!  Office hours are periodic but full of great info on all things https://www.lisaallreddance.com/red-sage!  You can catch up on the ones you have missed by clicking on the Video tab on the page or with this link!

Thanks Carolena, Sofia, Jesse and the rest of the FCBD® troupe!

Technique: Facebook Group for Video Feedback
Friday Challenge
Kelley Beeston
Anna Nordling
Yuri Ferretti

Here is the description of this Facebook group:  “Welcome to the Friday Challenge! This all started from an idea of Anna Nordling and Yuri Ferretti (respectively FCBD® Sister Studio in Gothenburg, Sweden, and FCBD® Brother Studio in Berlin, Germany) when we challenged each other to post a video on Instagram doing a Layback. Kelley Beeston joined in and we decided to create this group in order to give everyone the chance to post videos of your own practice of a particular movement. We announce the movement of the week (as the group suggests, more likely on Friday or just a few days before) and you can join us with a video of you either drilling that one movement or dancing it together with other movements of your choice. We don't aim to see perfection; we aim to see the effort!”  What a great resource for us all!

Thanks Kelley, Anna and Yuri!

Instagram:
Natalia Espinosa
@natalia.espinosa

I love the way my friend, Natalia, demonstrates poor technique and proper technique in her short videos! Because it is cleverly done without words, she makes it accessible to all languages!

Thanks Natalia!

Instagram:
Yuka Sakata
FatChanceBellyDance®
@ats_yuka

Yuka, a beautiful dancer and great teacher, shares drills and tips with her followers!

Thanks Yuka!

Technique: Facebook Group for video feedback
Virtual Duets
Ross Grian Roth from Turin, Italy
Heidi DeAngelis from Saint Paul, MN, USA
Lisi Brümmer from Freising, Germany
Kelly Mills from Camden, New South Wales, Australia

How fun is this!  Doing virtual duets!  I just joined and I can’t wait to start.  Each Wednesday someone volunteers to post a flow video and everyone else videotapes themselves dancing with them (like a duet).  Just beautiful and such a great way to connect with your friends all over the world.  I love the idea and I love the group!

Thanks Ross, Heidi, Lisi, and Kelly!

Thanks to everyone who is offering all this free content for all! Lisa

 

Inclusivity Panel at Reunion: Sharing terms and definitions before we meet

By Terri Allred and Lisa Allred

The leadership team of ATS® Reunion and the Belly Dance Business Academy are hosting a panel on inclusivity in our dance community at this year’s Reunion.  The panel will be held at lunch on Sunday from 11:45-12:45 and is free to all attendees.  It will be streamed on Facebook Live and recorded/available on the Belly Dance Business Academy. This blog is an effort to lay some groundwork so that everyone has a shared understanding of the basic terms and issues that may arise during the conversation.    Having a shared “language,” as ATS® dancers know well, helps with communication and allows us to focus on listening and getting to a deeper understanding rather than struggling to understand what people mean when they use a term with which we may be unfamiliar.

We welcome you to comment and share any additional information you personally think participants would benefit from learning more about.  Like everyone else, we are learning every day and are not trying to present ourselves as experts, just people who want to help set the tone for a respectful and productive discussion at Reunion.

The discussion during the panel is intended to be a launching point for further discussion and sharing.  It won’t solve any problems in our community or even address all the issues of concern.  We won’t leave the room all agreeing or with a tidy list of action items.  But hopefully, we will all learn from each other, benefit from hearing our panelists personal experience, and begin a conversation!

List of terms and definitions:

Stereotype- An exaggerated belief, image or distorted truth about a person or group—a generalization that allows for little or no individual differences or social variation. 

Prejudice- An opinion, prejudgment or attitude about a group or its individual members.  Prejudices are often accompanied by ignorance, fear or hatred.  Prejudices are formed by a complex psychological process that begins with attachment to a close circle of acquaintances or an “in-group” such as a family.  Prejudice is often aimed at “out-groups.

Discrimination- Behavior that treats people unequally because of their group memberships.  Discriminatory behavior, ranging from slights to hate crimes, often begins with negative stereotypes and prejudices.

Cultural Appropriation- The unacknowledged or inappropriate adoption of the customs, practices, ideas, etc. of one people or society by members of another and typically more dominant people or society.

Minorities- A relatively small group of people, especially one commonly discriminated against in a community, society, or nation, differing from others in race, religion, language, or political persuasion.

Dominant culture- The cultural beliefs, values, and traditions that are centered and dominant in society’s structures and practices. Dominant cultural practices are thought of as “normal” and, therefore, preferred and right. As a result, diverse ways of life are often devalued, marginalized, and associated with low cultural capital. Conversely, in a multicultural society, various cultures are celebrated and respected equally.

Intersectionality: The interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender that can create overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage. The term was coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, who used it to describe the experiences of black women – who experience both sexism and racism.

Inclusion- A dynamic state of operating in which diversity is leveraged to create a fair, healthy, and high-performing organization or community. An inclusive environment ensures equitable access to resources and opportunities for all. It also enables individuals and groups to feel safe, respected, engaged, motivated, and valued, for who they are and for their contributions toward organizational and societal goals.

Marginalized groups or underrepresented groups- Not all marginalized groups are minorities, and this broader term is generally inclusive of more than race and gender.

Microaggression- This term was coined by a psychiatrist and Harvard University professor Chester M. Pierce in 1970 to describe the tiny, casual, almost imperceptible insults and degradation often felt by any marginalized group.

Code switching- The practice of having to behave or speak differently in the workplace than we do in our personal lives and the toll it exacts on individuals from certain underrepresented backgrounds.

Hidden bias- Scientific research has demonstrated that biases thought to be absent or extinguished remain as "mental residue" in most of us. Studies show people can be consciously committed to egalitarianism, and deliberately work to behave without prejudice, yet still possess hidden negative prejudices or stereotypes.

"Implicit Association Tests" (IATs) can tap those hidden, or automatic, stereotypes and prejudices that circumvent conscious control. 

Want to learn more about this or explore your own hidden biases?  Here is a free website where you can do these IATs and learn more about yourself.  Project Implicit—a collaborative research effort between researchers at Harvard University, the University of Virginia, and the University of Washington—offers dozens of such tests.

Some background on the issues being addressed by the panel.

The panel at Reunion is moderated by April LaMar and the participants are Bibi Fischer, Marek Ciechanowski, Missy Olivia, Aeshna Mairead, and Carolena Nericcio.

They are being asked to discuss cultural appropriation, non-binary language and inclusion of people of color (knowing that term isn’t perfect either).  The panelists will be asked to share their OWN experience, not to make global or tokenized statements about any specific group with whom they identify.  Here is a very brief summary of the discussion that has arisen around each of those topics.

Cultural appropriation-  The definition of cultural appropriation is the unacknowledged or inappropriate adoption of the customs, practices, and ideas of one group by members of another, typically more dominant group.  ATS® had been called out in the broader dance community for things like face tattoos, bindis, and using the word “tribal” to describe the dance form. 

Diversity and inclusion of people of color in our community-  We acknowledge that there is some disagreement over using the term “people of color” but we decided to use it because it does fit the context here.  We are specifically referring to dancers who are not white or of European descent. The ATS® community doesn’t have a similar proportion of people of color as is represented in our countries and communities.  Additionally, ATS® performance troupes often don’t have people of color in them, which highlights the lack of diversity in ATS® performances and in the ATS® community in general.

Inclusion in terms of gender and sexual identity-  When we assume all folks in our classes identify as gender binary (M or F) or as straight (heterosexual), we don’t make room for those who identify in a myriad of ways in terms of gender and sexual identity.  One of the ways that we can create space for people in our community is to use inclusive language.  One example is to use non-binary (that means they don’t identify as male or female) language when addressing students (for example, y’all or folks).    Another example of an often-voiced concern around gender and language is the use of the term “sister studio” to designate affiliate status of FCBD®.

Thank you.

On behalf of the Leadership Team of ATS® Reunion and the Belly Dance Business Academy, we want to thank you for your interest in exploring this topic.  We welcome you to post links to articles or other content that you think helps illuminate these issues, including other terms and definitions that we didn’t include. 

In conclusion, we want to point out that ATS® Reunion and the Belly Dance Business Academy are independent of FCBD® and we are not speaking on behalf of Carolena or FCBD®.  Carolena is on the panel at Reunion and we look forward to hearing her thoughts on these issues as well. 

Thank you again.  Lisa and Terri Allred

Tips for Preventing Injury

Recently, I wrote a very popular blog post called “Why you should come to dance class even if you are injured.”  My grandmother would have said, that was putting the cart before the horse. This post, which probably should have come first, is about preventing injury in dance class!  And although this post is focused on class, these tips also apply to events and performances!

Tips for preventing injury:

Come to class well-rested, having eaten, and not under the influence of substances. Partying, eating poorly and not getting enough sleep leads to fatigue, inflammation, irritation and lack of recovery.  Sometimes we can’t be well-rested, so come to class, but take it easy-- warm up well, go slow, sit down when you need to and make sure the things you can control are optimal (staying hydrated and eating nutritious food before class). Some of you might think that saying no substances before class seems obvious, but that has not been my experience as a teacher. More than once I have had students meet their friends for dinner prior to class and not even think about the potential ill-effects of trying to learn new, complex movement after a glass of wine.  

Cross-train.  This allows you to build strength and endurance in all parts of your body.  Ask your dance teacher if there are any common physical issues you should be aware of for the style of dance you are practicing.  Core and hip strengthening exercises like Pilates and stability-based yoga are great for dancers. And so are aerobic activities, such as swimming or biking. Just 30 minutes 3-4 times a week is usually enough to improve your endurance.  This really hit home with my troupe, Dayanisma, when we started having hour-long shows where we were the only dancers.  

Avoid overtraining.  If you do a high intensity workout (dance or other), try to take the next day off to give your muscles time to heal from the microdamage you have inflicted with the exercise.

Always warm-up and cool down before class and performances.  A good warm-up raises your pulse by using large, full-body movements.  It mobilizes your joints by moving them through a range of motion, and it lengthens your muscles through dynamic stretching so that your muscles are prepared for dance. A good cool down involves 3-5 minutes of what you were doing during class but at a lower intensity.  Followed by 5 minutes of targeted stretches (the muscles you used during class), you should be good to go. As a teacher, I will say that it is easy to get in a good warm-up because I haven’t run out of time! At the end of class I do occasionally run out of time, so if that happens with your teacher as well, cool down by yourself before you go get in the car!

Stop praising other dancers for dancing while sick or injured and stop doing it yourself.  This is certainly a problem with professional dancers, but all of us hobbyists can fall into this trap as well.  Do some self-assessment and some community assessment and make sure you aren’t losing the forest for the trees. I remember having my partner drive me to a dress rehearsal for a big show when I had strep throat and could barely stand up.  That just isn’t a good idea.

Sometimes we are in pain but not sure whether we are just sore from a good class or injured.

How do I know if pain is from an injury?

If the pain you experience after dancing is muscle soreness, it will usually subside within a day or two. Sometimes there is a delay in the soreness setting in, which is also normal. However, if you experience the following types of pain, you may have suffered an injury:

  • Pain that wakes you up at night

  • Pain that is present at the start of an activity

  • Pain that increases with an activity

  • Pain that makes you shift your weight or otherwise compensate your movements

If you experience such pain, consult with a medical specialist — preferably a physical therapist or physician with experience in treating dancers. 

For more on taking care of yourself, see my posts on Sustaining Energy for Bellydancers and Sleep for Bellydancers.  And if you like this post, the highest form of compliment is to share it!  Thanks! Lisa


Giving and Receiving Feedback

I have taught graduate students in social work off and on for two decades. One advantage that I have with them that I don’t have with dance students is that I can take the first hour and set expectations around giving and receiving feedback. In a dance class, you can talk (maybe) 5 min before everyone gets antsy. And with good reason, it is a dance class! But being open to feedback, knowing how to thankfully and graciously accept it, and being savvy about evaluating the merit of the feedback, is just as important for a dance student as it is for a graduate student.

Because I teach graduate students, I also know to back up what I say with social science research. I know that is tedious to include in a blog, so message me if you want my sources, but for now, just know that my suggestions are well-researched.

Research on Feedback

•       Experts in their field (including advanced dancers) want to hear how they can improve, even if feedback is “negative”

•       People still mastering a skill want praise

•       The dilemma is that research shows that only praise (without critique) doesn’t improve performance

How to give good feedback

Think for a moment about the times you have been given feedback. You can probably identify some things that worked well and some things that did not. I imagine that your experience will align with these guidelines.

•       Be specific, “when you turn with a Turkish, you lose your hip shimmy”

•       Be immediate, while the details are fresh

•       Tie feedback to goals, “I know one of your goals is to improve your shimmy, I see that you are dropping it when you turn using a Turkish, lets look at some ways to work on that”

•       Ensure feedback is actionable, instead of “it just doesn’t make me excited to watch you dance” say “making occasional eye contact and smiling directly at an audience member is one way to engage the audience”

•       Use encouraging words like “and” or “what if”, “what if we could make your shimmy look big enough for a large stage?”

•       Ask if the person prefers feedback in private and respect that

Feedback is useful when it is given in the context of a trusting relationship, with care, with the intention to be helpful, and directly to the person. If you are talking about someone outside of their presence or not directly to them, it isn’t feedback, and it should not be mistaken as such. Saying negative things about someone is not constructive— it tears down trust and relationships. The result of well-delivered feedback is just the opposite.

Research on the feedback sandwich

Many of us have read about or been trained to do the “feedback sandwich” but it isn’t an effective way to give feedback. People don’t hear the positive because they are bracing for negative. Also, people only remember first and last parts of the conversation, so your feedback gets lost.

Instead:

•       Remind people that you are giving them feedback because you have high expectations and are confident that they can reach them

•       Remind people that you have really benefited from feedback before so you are trying to pay it forward

•       Ask the person if they want the feedback before you start, ““I noticed a couple things and wondered if you’re interested in some feedback”

•       Tell them what you like about something they are doing and then say “I would like it even more if…”

Accepting Feedback: in the moment

Accepting feedback can be very challenging. I generally do well with it unless I am upset about something else or really tired. Here are some tips for appreciating and maximizing the benefit you will get from the feedback you receive.

•       Listen

•       Resist the urge to prepare a response

•       If you are feeling defensive, pause before responding

•       Pause can be temporary or you can request to think about it and talk again later

•       OK to ask for examples, OK to take notes

•       Assume it is constructive unless proven otherwise

•       Respect and thank the person giving feedback

•       Avoid getting angry, making excuses, or being disrespectful

If people don’t give you feedback, maybe some self-reflection would be beneficial. Are you asking for feedback? Do you accept it gracefully? Do you make excuses or get angry? Is there something about your behavior that signals you are not open to hearing feedback?

Once you have received feedback, you have to evaluate it. If you are not sure if you agree, spend some time…

Reflecting on Feedback

•       Survey trusted friends to get their opinions

•       Decide if you want to make any changes based on the info you gathered

•       If so, create a plan to make changes

Giving and receiving feedback is a challenging issue at all levels of dance.  I would love to hear how you would expand on these tips! Are there strategies that have worked for you (on the giving or receiving end)?

Why You Should Come to Dance Class Even if You Are Injured!

I decided to publish this blog post again because as slog through a slow COVID recovery, I have needed to listen to my own advice.

I have a lot of experience with being injured and returning to dance. The last decade has been one long string of body parts giving out. Being injured causes physical and emotional pain. The physical pain is obvious, but the emotional pain is no less real. Missing performances, having to sit on the sidelines at rehearsal, and not feeling like a contributing member can all wear on a dancer’s self-esteem and mood. I have spent some time recently investigating “best practices” around injured dancers and want to offer some suggestions for ways an injured dancer can keep learning, participating, and feeling connected in class and troupe rehearsal. First, we will look at how you can physically continue participating. Second, if you must sit out, how can you make use of that time to improve your dance? Third, how can you also use that time observing to benefit your teacher, the class/and or the troupe?

1- Physical participation

There are several strategies you can use to make decisions about physical participation.

Medical Advice: At the post-op apt after my hip replacement, the surgeon and I danced. I stood up and showed him the movements I needed to do and he stood up and showed me what I needed to avoid. Between that meeting and similar sessions with a physical therapist, I returned to dance with very clear instructions about movement. If you are injured, ask your medical providers for suggestions on modifying movement and share those suggestions with your teacher.

Pain Free Range of Motion: Basically, don’t do anything that hurts!

Modify Movements: This means reducing the difficulty of the movements, modifying your exertion level, or otherwise limiting your participation in order to allow your body time to heal. In other styles of dance, “marking” the movement is more common than it seems to be in ATS®. Marking is a great alternative to dancing “full out” both for dancers who are injured and for dancers who are tired and therefore more susceptible to injuries.

Remove weight bearing: Can you sit and continue to do upper body movements while decreasing the load on your lower body? Are there alternative movements that can train your body in the same way but can be done on the ground or in a chair? Ask your physical therapist and your dance teacher for help figuring this out.

2- Mental Rehearsal

Mental rehearsal is a strategy used by professional athletes and sports psychologists to enable high-performing athletes to benefit from practice without adding strain to their bodies… again, both preventing and dealing with injuries. There is an abundance of evidence that this is an effective strategy to improve performance! The evidence supports that mental rehearsal helps you maintain neuromuscular connections and refine your movements. It can also help you analyze your personal dance habits and technique.

Mental rehearsal is most effective when the dancer alternates between 2 different perspectives.

Kinesthetic Practice: When you visualize yourself executing the movement from the inside.

Visual Practice: When you visualize yourself executing the movement from the outside as if you are viewing a movie.

While visualizing, notice the cues and instructions you give yourself about doing the movement. Recording those mental cues and instructions is one more way you can deepen the benefits of this strategy.

3- Written Class Observation

Observing class allows you to recognize how your movements can be improved and identify strategies for change by watching how other dancers execute the movements you have trouble doing. You can also assist your teacher and the other students by noticing strengths and opportunities for improvement within individual dancers or the class. Here are some questions you can consider while you are watching.

What general or individual feedback comments did the teacher make?  How does this feedback apply to you? 

What do you see in your classmates that you can apply to yourself?

Are there any students in the class who are inspiring to you?  Why specifically?

What do you notice about the relationship between the music and the movement?  How are individual dancers responding to the music?  Is there anything specific you want to emulate?

There are so many great ways to make use of class time, even if you can’t dance. Physically participating is not the only way to benefit personally or add value to a class or troupe. By appreciating the abundance of ways you can contribute even if you are injured, I hope students and troupe members will be encouraged to take time to heal and to feel great about it!

Reference

ATS® Reunion Advice from the Hospitality Director

I am so excited that you decided to attend ATS® Reunion this year. I have been the Hospitality Director for this event since it started as ATS® Homecoming in 2015 and I really think the AZ venue is the best we have ever had and that you are going to love the hotel, the conference center and all of the event workshops and shows. So much wonderful advice has been shared on Facebook for new attendees and now I want to share my advice about how to make the most of this event as a new attendee or a regular.

As the Hospitality Director, I have had some unique and wonderful experiences. Terri, Dawn and I always share a room. We have adopted a sick dancer from the Czech Republic who got her reservation dates wrong, and in addition to providing a room, we were really great nurses. We have had 6 Brazilian dancers sharing our bathroom mirror for pre-performance make-up. Another time we hosted a group of international dancers (who were staying off site) so that they could shower and get ready for their performance inside the hotel. You don’t have to invite people you haven’t ever laid eyes on to share your room, but this blog is about encouraging you to…

Connect with people you don’t know! And not just the famous people, connect with the obvious beginner dancers and the troupe who is here traveling together and the lone dancer who doesn’t have anyone to partner with in the workshop. Step outside of your comfort zone and say hello, ask if you can join a group or sit at a table.

Now even as I advise this, I do so with some trepidation. Even at an event where kindness is obviously valued, every year I watch the dancer (in this actual example, one who is famous and still really got her feelings hurt) ask if they can sit down only to be told the seats are reserved. I hear my own troupe members talk about trying to dance with others in workshops in an effort to “mix it up” and having their overtures declined. I see people sitting alone at meals while groups sit beside them and don’t invite them to join. I see dancers who are really kind to the “big” names, but are inconsiderate or down right rude to the volunteer Work/Study staff.

I am asking you to do something that might be met with rejection, but I want you to do it anyway. You see, for every time you are met with a “this seat is saved” you will also be met with a Freddie Katz or a Gudrun Herald, both of whom opened their homes to us when Dayanimsa traveled to Germany— after only meeting us one time at this event. Gudrun and I have laid eyes on each other only a handful of times yet we decided to get matching tattoos. Those are the kinds of friends you make when you take that risk and keep taking it even after being rejected.

I also have an “ask” for those of you traveling with your people. And this is a hard ask as well. Sometimes, I feel really bad and guilty about not spending more time with my troupe when I am at this event. But please consider dancing with someone new in a workshop. Please consider inviting other dancers to dinner, or leaving your group to sit with someone entirely new at breakfast. Tell your people that you love them but you don’t want to miss out on the truly life-transforming part of this dance and this event… seeing your family—your siblings in dance who you haven’t even met yet— and learning about what brings them to this community of dancers.

I am an extrovert with incredibly thick skin so I know it comes easier for me that it will for most of you, so come to the hospitality table. Tell the Manager on Duty that you need to be introduced around or you need help connecting with others. We will help. I will help. You will recognize me because I have the necklace on that says “Not Terri.”

On Wednesday at 8 EST, Debbie, Ming, and I will be going live on Facebook to talk about our new Solo Match Program where we match dancers traveling alone with groups traveling together. I hope you will consider participating in this program. Your only commitment is to meet each other and dine together on Thursday night before the reception. Tune in to learn all the details!

Finally, I want to share free resources I have put together in the past for attendees. These workshops are some I created through the Belly Dance Business Academy. They sell for between $15 and $35 each, but I want you to have them for free because I am making a big ask today and want to do anything I can to make you successful should you decide to accept. Sleep for Bellydancers will help you think through this important aspect of self-care before and during this event. Networking for Introverts will help you manage this challenge I am issuing in this blog. Finally, Sustained Energy for Bellydancers is the online version of the Energy Management class I did last year at ATS® Reunion.

I am also including links to DeAnna Freeman’s blogs. Her generosity of spirit and free sharing of knowledge inspires me to be a better person and a better dancer. You don’t want to miss her blogs on Restoring at Reunion, Self-Care at Reunion, and Packing for Reunion.

I can’t wait to see you in January. If you see me and I look busy, stop and say hello anyway. There is nothing I would rather be doing than meeting you!

Creating Troupe Guidelines

Prevention is so much easier than dealing with constant conflict. This class, Creating Troupe Guidelines, will give you everything you need to create a comprehensive set of troupe guidelines. With clear guidelines, many of the issues that disrupt dance troupes can be anticipated and addressed before they occur. When expectations are clear (including what will happen if someone isn't following the agreed upon troupe guidelines), it makes the inevitable conflict that occurs within any group of people so much easier to handle.

Sneak Peak

Do I really need guidelines if I am the Director?

There are many ways a troupe can be organized. One popular model is a Collaborative where everyone has artistic input and leadership responsibility. Another common model has a Troupe Director who provides the artistic vision and leadership and the members are occasionally involved in both, but mostly serve a supportive role. With those two models serving as goalposts on either end of the field, your troupe can decide to stake out a model anywhere in between.

Although it is more obvious why you need guidelines when your troupe is a collaborative, I would argue that you need them even more if you are a sole director. I say this based on the importance of consistency whenever you manage a group of people. If you think of this in terms of a business situation, you would never have a different set of rules for one employee to earn a raise than you would for another. If you did it would breed mistrust and unhealthy competition.

You also want your troupe members to clearly know your expectations so they know what you expect from them. Clear expectations help them know what they are agreeing to do and what happens if they can't hold up their end of the agreement. It also tells them what they can expect from you as a troupe director.

Now that we all agree on how important these are for any type of troupe structure, let's examine the different components you should include and look at how one troupe operationalized each of these components.

I hope you enjoyed this sneak peak. The class, Creating Troupe Guidelines, is available online through the Belly Dance Business Academy for $20. Join the 39 other dancers who have taken it.

What is Watering Down Your Wow?

Teaching stage presence for performers has long stumped professionals throughout the arts. Some teachers bemoan that it just isn't something you can learn, you either have it or you don't. Some students choose dance styles where they don't have to smile as if that will solve their stage presence problem.

Research conducted with audiences demonstrate that 80% of the time they would rather see a dancer with good stage presence than one with excellent technique who looks uncomfortable on the stage. Even knowing this, as teachers we spend 95% of our time on technique. Our work on stage presence sometimes just consists of saying "ok, this time when we run through it make sure to smile."

In What is Watering Down Your Wow? we will draw from sports psychology and cognitive behavioral therapy to explore the ways you can teach students to improve their stage presence through techniques that focus on the Mind, Body, and achieving a state of Flow.

I have taught this class several times in person and 105 dancers have taken it online through the Belly Dance Business Academy! Let me know if you have any questions about the content!

As a special gift to you, if you register for What is Watering Down Your Wow? you will get a free code for up to 3 of your troupemates to take the class. Just message me through my website to request your code. I have taught this class 4 times in person and 105 dancers have taken it online. For $25, you and 3 of your troupemates can take it and have a common vocabulary to discuss your stage presence goals and challenges.

Drills and Donuts

This workshop, Drills and Doughnuts, is for regular, everyday dancers who have non-dance jobs, families, and occasionally eat doughnuts before heading to dance class. We will learn ways to build strength, stamina, and flexibility as well as improve technique through Bellydance drills that can be incorporated into your busy schedule. If you are an ATS ®dancer, the drills will also help even out strength differences between the muscles on your right (ATS ® dominant) and left side. Lisa will also teach science-based strategies for maintaining motivation, sustaining habits and using “cues” in in your everyday routine to help these new strategies become second nature.

Sneak Peak

Why is it Difficult to Change Behavior?

1-     Battle between current self and future self

In other words, we have a hard time valuing anything, including ourselves, that is in the future. For example, people will almost always choose an immediate reward even if you get something much bigger by delaying the reward. Your current self would rather stay in bed than go to rehearsal. It is hard to imagine your future self-- maybe dancing better at your next performance. Psychologists who research human behavior posit several reasons we, as humans do this:

a.      "End of history" illusion (underestimate amount you will change)

We think that our current successes and struggles will stay the same, even 10 or 20 years in the future.

b.      Usual human tendency to overvalue immediate gains

This makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint. Why wait to eat those calories when you might need them to survive the winter?

c.      Will only delay gratification if delay has huge and tangible payoff

Over and over, research studies show that it takes a very large payoff to encourage people to focus on the future. And the payoff usually has to be tangible (think a large sum of money, not flat abs).

d.      Temporal discounting (devalue future)

As humans we tend to devalue the future and focus instead on satisfaction in the present.

2-     Willpower decreases as the day progresses

I always believed the inspirational message I learned from fitness experts... willpower is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets. Actually, this is not true. Actually willpower fatigues fatigues throughout the day (sticking to diet all day and giving in at night) therefore, it is a weak tool for us to use to motivate change. In addition to not being very effective, failing willpower can be detrimental to your emotional and physical health. It can make you feel bad about yourself and make poor decisions.

I hope you enjoyed this sneak peak. This class was designed and juried into ATS Reunion 2018 in Scottsdale, AZ where 24 dancers attended. Six additional dancers have taken this class online. it is available through the Belly Dance Business Academy for $35.

Networking for Introverts

Whether you are a professional dancer or hobbyist, attending a big dance event can be overwhelming for an introvert. In Networking for Introverts, Lisa will suggest things you can do before, during and after the event to make your experience more relaxing, fun and worthwhile. 

Sneak Peak

Preparing Your Thoughts

I am an extrovert. And yet, here I am writing a class for introverts. Why? About half of my professional dance troupe members, including our director, are introverts (which tracks with the general population). This is something we discuss as a troupe and have a deliberate plan in place when we go to dance events. We have made the words into verbs so we discuss having someone at the event who can extrovert and someone who can introvert. Both are extremely helpful to have on your team because both are good at different things. This class will explore how introverts can maximize their influence at an event while still maintaining their sanity in "constantly on" type of scenario.

Here are some ways to help you think of your next Bellydance event as a fun opportunity to make new friends and/or business connections.

1- Decide (and even write down) your goals for the event. What do you want to get out of it? For example, I want to meet people in my area who are interested in taking an on-going class (maybe with you)... I want to meet other teachers who are interested in hosting joint haflas... I want to connect with someone teaching on a national level and ask to have a future conversation with them. I want to improve my technique and meet other dancers in my community.

2- Think about what you want to bring to the event. What do you want to contribute? This question is not as clear, yet it can really help us feel less nervous about interacting with others when we have an intention going into an event. For example, last year I went to an event with the intention of being as helpful as possible. I asked the event producer if she needed any help setting up and spent hours setting up tables for vendors. I introduced myself to a vendor who was alone and asked if she needed any help getting her stuff in. We chatted during set-up and I covered her table for her while she took breaks. We became friends. So maybe your intention will be to be helpful. Here are some other ideas:

-express thanks (to the organizers, the volunteers, the vendors and the instructors)

-make sure no one is sitting alone (who doesn't want to be)

-give the gift of your attention (make eye contact and smile at the instructor while she (or he) is teaching, talk to people without your phone in your hand, make sure you aren't talking when the instructor or organizer is trying to get people's attention)

3- Give yourself an out for when you are "over-peopled". Write down how you will know when you need some alone time. Even being an extrovert, when I get cranky it means I need some alone time. Your signals could be mood related like me, or you could get a headache or feel stressed out. Next, think about ways to be alone. Walking outside is a great idea; bringing headphones so it looks like you are reviewing your music for a performance; even going into the bathroom and hanging out in a stall will work.

When you think through how you will get a break, it takes away part of the anxiety of being with people the entire time.

I hope you enjoyed this sneak peak. This class has already been taken by 53 dancers and is available at the Belly Dance Business Academy online for $15.

Communication Skills for on and off the Stage

Dancers are constantly communicating on the stage. In improvisational dance, our steps are words, our cues are punctuation, and each dancer who leads the group forms sentences. Each sentence spoken by the lead dancer is woven with the sentences spoken by the next lead dancer to tell a story for the audience. Even in choreographed dance, the rules of communication are clear while on stage.

Off the stage can be a different story...

Just like on the stage, communicating off stage takes clarity, trust and courage.

In this class you will:

-explore your own communication style

-learn tools for communicating when conflict is involved

-explore tips for having a conversation when conflict is involved

-practice what to do if these strategies don't work (e.g., handling REALLY difficult people).

For most of us, having difficult or conflictual conversations is not an easy thing to do. Preparing for conflictual conversations help make them successful. Handling conflict effectively off-the- stage can positively impact communication and performance on stage and make your class or troupe even more successful.

In this class we will focus on conflict because this is the most challenging form of communication and because these skills can be taught and learned.

This is an area where your personal improvement will positively affect any group with whom you interact. This is true because people learn through modeling. Even if you belong to a group where conflict is an issue with multiple group members, when you change, the dynamics of the entire group change as well.

Sneak Peak

The Conflictual Conversation

So now that you are considering your mindset as you approach the conflict, let's consider a way to think about the situation that might further help you sort it out.

Think about dividing a conflictual conversation into three parts or three conversations:

  • The “What Happened?“ Conversation: The "What happened?" conversation usually involves disagreement over what happened, what should happen, and who is to blame.

    • The Truth of what happened

    • The Intentions of the people involved

    • Who is Responsible for the situation

  • The Feelings Conversation:The feelings conversation is about the parties' emotions, and their validity.

  • The Identity Conversation: The identity conversation is an internal conversation that each party has with herself, over what the situation tells her about who she is.

This class is available at the Belly Dance Business Academy online for $45. One of my most popular classes, this class has already been taken by 166 dancers! Let me know if you have any questions.

Sustained Energy for Dancers

Whether you just want to learn how to make it through a dance event with sustained energy or you want to learn how to transform your life, this workshop, Sustained Energy for Dancers, will teach you how to manage your energy to achieve improved performance and productivity, improved happiness and improved health. This class was inspired by the book, The Power of Full Engagement, by Tony Schwartz. In the class, you will learn ways to maintain energy at a dance event through sleep, nutrition, exercise, emotional regulation and identifying a sense of purpose.

Sneak Peak:

Emotional Regulation for Sustained Energy

Negative emotions are not bad. Anger can help us know when we are being mistreated. Fear signals danger. Resentment tells us to shore up our boundaries, etc. Negative emotions are infectious though and can zap our energy. Being around negative people can really drain your energy. In my dance troupe, we have a rule that for the first 10 minutes of rehearsal we are going to support each other but then we are going to focus on dance. We know that engaging in dance is restorative and it is part of what helps us with emotional renewal.

In general, your goal should be to try not to stay stuck in negativity too long but focus on what you can do to return to a normal, healthier state. Remember, a little stress has positive effects on our health, chronic stress has very negative effects.

•What is the depth of your emotional renewal?

For example, I heard once that TV is the same as junk food when it comes to emotional restoration. I know when I watch too much TV/Netflix/Youtube videos, I start feeling depressed. What else can you do? What brings you joy? When is the last time you experienced it? Any activity that is enjoyable, fulfilling and affirming is a source of emotional renewal and recovery. Here are some ideas of activities that can result in emotional renewal.

•Practice mindfulness and meditation to relax body/mind

It also helps you understand your existing energy management patterns. I actually started meditating to help me get through weekend dance events when I knew I would need a nap but not have time to take one. I was at ATS(R) Reunion, a yearly event where I am on the event organization team, when I realized I simply had to find a way to renew my energy quickly. I practiced meditating 4-5 times a week and then at the next Reunion I felt like I had cultivated a super power!

•Compulsive and obsessive thinking is a huge energy drainer.

I have an anxiety disorder so this is a huge issue for me. I find that the best way for me to break these thought patterns is to engage in something else that is very interesting. If my anxiety is acting up, I keep a mystery novel on my phone. Reading for 10-15 minutes can sometimes help me re-set. I also ask someone if they need help. Similarly, focusing on someone else is a strategy that works really well for me. Laughter also helps. I have the YouTube APP on my phone and follow some of my favorite comedians. What do you do to help break the cycle of perserverative thoughts?

•Another way to renew your energy is to learn about someone else. 

In conversation, be aware of how much you are talking vs. listening. This is also a golden rule in parenting. If you are talking more than you are listening, time to re-think your approach.

I hope you enjoyed this sneak peak! This workshop was designed and juried into ATS Reunion in 2019 where 83 dancers registered for the class. Since then, another 10 have taken the class on-line through the Belly Dance Business Academy. It is available for purchase for $35.


Gratitude for Stress Management

Positive Psychology focuses on how to enrich our lives, not just how to solve problems. One easy and very successful way to do both is to “practice” gratitude. It is particularly helpful to reduce stress.

Sneak Peak

Reverse Bucket List

Everyone has heard of a bucket list, but what about a Reverse Bucket List. A Reverse Bucket List is when you write down all of the things you have already accomplished. Think about all of the things you have done in your life. What have you accomplished that you are the most proud of? Where have you traveled? Are there organizations that have you donated time or money? What about birthing a child, surviving a heartbreak, earning a degree? There are all kinds of things you can identify once you start reflecting.

The purpose is to feel grateful for all you have done and experienced rather than focusing on all you haven't achieved. Spend some time reflecting on your list and feeling grateful.

Here is an example of a Reverse Bucket List that I like in a blog. Why don't you share two things. What makes your the proudest? What did you think of to include that might inspire the rest of us to think outside the box?

I hope you enjoyed this sneak peak. This class is available at the Belly Dance Business Academy online and it is FREE. Join the 99 other dancers who have taken this class online.

Sleep for Dancers

Many of us struggle with our sleep in our day to day lives. The excitement and nervousness of a big event can disrupt our sleep before we ever leave the house. During the dance event, we get up earlier, stay up later, and do other things that impact our sleep. Sleep for Dancers will examine some strategies to improve your sleep in general, with specific ideas for dance related events!

Sneak Peak

Stress Management for Better Sleep

There are things you can do during the day to reduce your stress. Reducing stress will help you sleep better at night. There are 5 ideas below, but don’t get overwhelmed by trying to implement everything at once. Pick one and practice it until it seems second nature and then add another.

1.Reframing Your Thinking

2.Containment Strategies

3.Coping Strategies

4.Reverse Bucket List

5.Practicing Gratitude

Ready? Let’s start.

1. Reframing Your Thinking

Our thoughts control our feelings, so often changing the way you think about something can change the way you feel. For example, if you are asked to do a job that requires you to manage a lot of details and you are not a “detail person” you can reframe the job as an opportunity to develop skills in a weak skill area rather than a task that is overwhelming or burdensome.

Next time you are experiencing a strong feeling, take a moment to write down the feeling and what you were thinking right before the feeling. Brainstorm other thoughts (that are realistic and plausible) and see if it changes the way you feel.

2. Containment Strategies

Sometimes we are in a situation where we need to contain our emotions because they are too overwhelming or because feeling them might get in the way of something important like sleep. For example, you are going to meet with your child’s teacher and you are very angry. Containing some of that anger so you can communicate effectively is a good strategy. This isn’t ignoring your feelings, but being able to set them aside for brief periods of time.

Examples of containment strategies include:

write in a journal as a temporary container for emotions (SLEEP JOURNAL),

listen to soothing music,

distract yourself with a funny video clip or engaging book,

practice “grounding” by engaging all of your senses to notice things in your environment. If you have never tried grounding, here is an example… as I am writing this email I am noticing my dog softly snoring on the chair beside me, I smell the pumpkin bread I am about to eat, I see the almost unpacked room (from moving) that I am sitting in, etc.

3. Coping Strategies

There are two categories of coping, emotion-focused and solution-focused.

Sometimes we are faced with a situation that we cannot control or impact in any way, for example, rain on your wedding day (now you are going to have the Alanis Morisette song running through your mind all day- you’re welcome). In those types of situations, emotion-focused coping strategies are going to work best.

Examples of Emotion-focused Coping Strategies are:

talk about your feelings,

write in a journal,

practice good self-care,

change the way you look at a situation,

add humor, etc.

Other times we are struggling with a situation that we can impact, for example, an argument with our partner. Here, solution-focused coping strategies are the best choice because you can have some impact.

Examples of Solution-focused Coping Strategies are:

brainstorming,

problem-solving,

skill-building,

communicating,

developing new ways of doing things, etc.

4. Reverse Bucket List

This technique is fun and can be on-going. Everyone has heard of a Bucket List where you list all of the things that you have not done but you want to do in your life. What about a Reverse Bucket List where you write down everything you have accomplished!

5. Practicing Gratitude

There is a lot of research that “practicing gratitude” can help you be more positive, have better relationships, increase your happiness and even sleep better! The most important change you can make with immediate impact and minimal effort is to express positive emotions to others.

Happy people communicate gratitude to their friends and love to their family in ways that strengthen the relationships. Try it. Tell someone something specific you appreciate about them.

I hope you have enjoyed this sneak peak. This class is available at the Belly Dance Business Academy online for $25. This class has already been taken by 34 dancers! Let me know if you have any questions.